Putting this experience in writing now is very difficult for me, but it's something that I want and need to do for myself. It's a time I need to be able to look back on and remember the details. Before I continue, I want to clarify where my head was ten months ago in the midst of everything.
There was no doubt in my being that this journey was lined out by God for my good and for His plan. Dr. Woody had said, "It doesn't have to be this way." Barb had said, "We'll do so much more." I was in Denver for medical treatment ~ not a typical thing I would do. This was big - this was different. I believed, but it was in such a deep and certain way that it's hard to explain. At the time I was very rigid and as cautious as possible with my emotions. I knew things were the way they were supposed to be. I couldn't deal with everything that was frustrating and seemingly unforgiveable about lost time being sick. To me, that had to have been part of the plan too. You know, part of the journey. Maybe someone's life was changed along the path because of my health. I knew I couldn't handle the burden of that anger. I also realized how hard the situation was on Mom. Imagine watching someone you love going through all that & she couldn't do a thing ~ I had to be strong for her. It hurt me so much that I'd put her (& all my family and friends) through so much worry and heartache for so long. I believe all this helped me to get through each tough minute just thinking about the ultimate goal...it was all for good.
Ten months later, I can see the bigger picture. So as I record the memory, I want it to be true. That first week at National Jewish was wonderful and life changing, but it was also horrible and tough and unbelievably scary. As you will see, God was working miracles every step of the way. I was doing what I could to understand and remember that it was All For Good.
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