"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
I can actually remember the day my brother taught me that old saying. I also remember thinking he was an idiot and totally wrong. I was right. ;) (well, he's not an idiot, but that saying is soooooo unrealistic) Words hurt, words REALLY hurt, and I would say for people with the love language of affirmations the sting of words might even be a little stronger.
Let's be real. People say unbelievably stupid things all the time. Deep down, I like to believe that everyone's intentions are basically good. I like to believe that sometimes, people just don't know what to say but have the overwhelming need to say something. I know I've done it for sure. I know that words have flown out of my mouth that I immediately regretted. I also know I've hurt people with words without knowing it. We all do it, but it still sucks. It's annoying and unfortunately, the impact of words often lingers a lot longer than physical pain. Phrases that seem harmless on the surface can really take a toll on someone who is already down.
"You don't look sick"
"You have a positive attitude so things must be great"
"Maybe God didn't intend for everyone to have children"
"God only gives you what you can handle"
"Oh, I had that ____. It wasn't such a big deal"
"Have you gained weight?"
"Have you lost weight?"
"Just take a day off and rest, then you'll be all better"
"It must be nice to just lay in a hospital bed and do nothing"
"You look awful"
It seems petty to be bothered by words. Especially when I know those words often come from a sincere place. I feel like I have gotten pretty good at letting things roll off my back over the years. Sometimes, though, words just hurt. I want to be more intentional with my own words. Every person is dealing with something. I always try to keep this in mind. No person's "thing" is bigger than any other person's. Our past experiences dictate the impact of future experiences. I believe the good I can reap from my pain will help me to lift others up in theirs.
