I hardly slept Monday night because I was having so much trouble breathing. I knew that wasn't exactly good in terms of having surgery the next morning, but I also knew the docs were expecting my trouble to some extent...and prepared for it. That's how I reassured myself that all would work out. (I'm pretty good at reasoning situations so I have no room to worry!) We left the apartment at 5:20 a.m. to head to the hospital. By 6:00 a.m. I was registered, in a lovely gown, & in a bed in the pre-op room....still struggling. The nurse was quite concerned, but couldn't order treatments without the doctor. I reassured her that I'd be okay until he arrived. She trusted me. Mom was completely beside herself. I could sense her tensing more and more with each passing minute. She even commented to the nurse that she loved and hated my calmness, but knew it was a life-saving quality in situations like this. :) The nurse tried to start my IV, but had that familiar trouble and blew veins likely because of my breathing. Another nurse was finally successful.
Just as they finished the IV, one of the anesthesiologists popped in. Her name was Mary Walker :) and she was a delightful soul. She immediately noticed my struggling and calmly jumped into action. She checked my O2 level, which was 89% and hooked up the oxygen mask. She put me on 10 liters of oxygen and ordered a treatment. Dr. Ramakrishnan walked around the corner just at that time. He gave me an OMG look, I smiled at him and he just smiled back shaking his head. He and the anesthesiologists consulted about the dangers of continuing with surgery in my condition. They laid it out for me saying I could end up on the ventilator overnight or longer, they could get me off but need to keep me overnight, or they could cause damage while intubating me because of my low O2 & brochospasms. At the same time, Dr. Ramakrishnan said that this could be as good as I get & it is the reason I am here ~ to get better. I agreed without hesitation. After a lung x-ray they all agreed to move forward. I said good-bye to Mom as was rolled to the OR. Dr. Ramakrishnan said the surgery would take an hour and we were underway.
The next thing I recall is being in recovery with people all around me. I was really struggling to breathe ~ but NOT on the ventilator! One of the nurses looked at me with a sweet smile, grabbed my hand and said, "You're quite the fighter, Toni! Don't stop now! We don't want to intubate you again!" I just smiled back at her. They said they'd let my mom come back as soon as I was more stable. When Mom came back she looked so scared, like she'd lived through a horror movie. She told me the surery ended up taking over two hours. They had trouble itubating me safely to start with because my airway was already so constricted. (in emergency situations they don't hesistate, but for a surgery they don't like to be so brutal). Then, the area in my forehead, near my cranium and around my eyes was in worse condition than the CT revealed. He had to work much longer and more intricately to complete his work successfully. In the end, my lungs were not responding when they stopped the ventilator. It took time to get me off, but they were successful. When they did, my stats plummetted again quickly and were hovering the need for re-intubation. They wouldn't even let Mom come back to see me until they felt they had me out of the woods.
Eventually I was in a room with a beautiful view. Dr. Ramakrishnan said he'd likely release me early in the morning. It ended up being more like four in the afternoon because my lungs just weren't cooperating. While I was there I had the most caring nurses and techs you can imagine. They make you feel confident that they are on top of your care. They are always aware of your stats and take action within seconds of a problematic change.
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| My view... |
Since getting out recovery has been pretty smooth. My frustrating lungs have been the biggest obstacle for me. I've certainly had some pain due to the surgery, but have only taken one pain pill. They make me itch so intensely that even two Benedryl don't provide relief. I decided the pain is easier to handle than the itching! It was a pretty simple choice! :)
Tomorrow is a pretty big day. I'll admit I'm even a bit uneasy about it. I'm going back to National Jewish for lots of tests and my appointment with Dr. Olson. She's been my superhero through this battle. She has stuck with it and fought to solve the mystery of me. I'm looking forward to seeing her comforting face, but nervous about the tests. I know I'll get through... I just kinda wish I could fast forward this time! :)
