Well, I did get released from the hospital Friday afternoon. I spent the weekend recovering and working on report cards. I'm still getting over the pneumonia so I've only been working mornings. I did go to pulmonary rehab yesterday. I was able to get through everything but was pretty beat when I left. This afternoon I had the follow up appointment with Dr. Hughes, my ENT to discuss sinus surgery.
I've known about this appointment for over a month now, but haven't been able to let myself deal with the thought of having another surgery even if it is just on my sinuses. So, in my own special way, I have completely avoided thinking about it until today. On my way to the office I really started to fall apart. You would think that after open heart surgery, the thought of any other type of surgery would be cake but for some reason it's not working out that way for me. My body is going into serious panic mode and I can't control it! I don't even know what I'm scared of, it's just an unconscious reaction that I have to get a handle on.
Dr. Hughes said my sinuses were worse than he had previously thought and that the surgery was very necessary. It would be a more complicated surgery than he had first expected because of the high dose of aspirin I am taking and the sinus problems he'll be repairing. He also let me know that my recovery time would be longer because of my health complications and the aspirin. The most important thing is that he believes it will help me to have fewer asthma symptoms and fewer infections in the future.
Sometimes I feel so smothered by the things I'm dealing with lately that I start to doubt the good that I know will come. It's time to deal with this surgery and take back the hope that I am going to be well. Maybe this surgery could be the missing puzzle piece my body needs to fully recover.
