Time to face it for sure. I need to take a deep breath, gather my strength, and do what I know is best for me. Yep, I said it, ME. It's time to make this real, believe that everyone will understand this is where I need to be, and acknowledge what I've known for a while.
Denver is where I need to live.
Dr. Olson and I spoke at length today and she was quite blunt with me. (I guess she knew I needed that.) Things aren't going to be any different if I go back to Lexington right now. Honestly, everyone who knows me has been thinking the same thing ~ just afraid to speak it. The same old cycle will start all over again. I won't be able to be the teacher I want to be, I'll continue to miss days, and everyone I love will continue to worry that one day soon, I'll push my body too far.
Yes, it's tough. Are you kidding? It's really tough. I have an entire state of people supporting me, but I'm here, 1400 miles away alone with my dog. But now I'm finally taking this leap of faith. That's actually what makes it easier to handle though. I know... completely and totally KNOW deep down that this is right. Denver is exactly, undoubtedly where I am supposed to be at this time in my life. I have no ill thoughts about how long this has taken or the road I've traveled to get here. That was all necessary ~ part of me & my story. I really wouldn't change a thing. On that note though, I don't want to miss another thing. I refuse to let fear stop me from enjoying this beautiful life. I know everything is going to be good and it will completely outweigh the hard times.
This decision opens the door to new hope. Maybe I'll be able to teach again...in a classroom, exercise whenever I want without pain, have the family I've always dreamed about, and bring joy to my loved ones rather than worry.
I'm officially moving to Denver.
