It's been a pretty frustrating first week back. The fevers have continued throughout the week and now my left ear has started hurting. I've been emailing Dr. Caudill and he has seemed indifferent about treating me. He finally offered to see me this afternoon to take a look at my ears. I've also emailed him about the December report from Dr.Olson. It came in last week and I had some questions about some of the recs she'd listed. I wondered when and if he was wanting to start the plan. He replied that he didn't intend to start anything at this point. I was beyond frustrated. What happened to the doctor that was so interested in helping me? The doctor that promised to work with the doctors from National Jewish and continue the plans they developed to help me get well? I didn't understand what had changed? He was suddenly so different. He was acting like he didn't want to be my doctor anymore. I can't deal with this - I just want a doctor - a good doctor.
I was even angrier when I left his office. He only looked in my left ear. He said, "Yep, it's infected too, keep taking the antibiotics. You're lungs don't sound too good either." He didn't even bring a stethoscope into the room with him. He couldn't have cared less about treating me. The only good thing that came from the appointment was that I got him to write a letter so I can have donated sick days at work. Before I left he told me he thought it was time I start accepting that this is how things are for me. I was crushed. Only one month ago Dr. Olson was preaching the exact opposite to me. How could he say such a thing? I left with no hope of feeling better physically and feeling more frustrated and confused than before. Maybe he was right.
Just like a gift, the phone rang at 6:20 p.m. It was the comforting voice of Dr. Olson. She was just calling to check in on me since I had been sick when I left Denver back in December. She could immediately tell that I wasn't well and could hear my wheezing. I quickly updated her on the past month and she was so disappointed. She had been so hopeful about things turning around for me. The news that my peak flows had been below 250 since December was appalling to her. She insisted that I needed to get back out there for next steps. It couldn't wait for April as we had previously planned. I was so caught off guard that I was speechless. How could I afford another trip now? But at the same time, what relief, I had to go, could another trip make a difference? My head was spinning. Her immediate advice was to get to a UTC to change the antibiotic since the ear infection had spread, get a chest x-ray to check for pneumonia, and start prednisone to get my peak flows back on track. I couldn't get on a plane until I was stable.
She comforted me and told me that it was possible for me to feel better than this. I just need a doctor to be on board with the plan and on top of things. She promised to talk with me Monday to discuss the x-ray results and her plan. What a rollercoaster! I just want to be well - I just want to be able to work without missing days. I am so thankful for this doctor in my life. This fight is wearing me down and she is truly a gift from God. I pray that answers and relief comes soon.
