The Plan

Friday morning I was a little stiff from the heart cath, but it was nothing like I had expected.  That was a good thing!  I was supposed to have an appointment with Dr. Olson, but now I had to have a neck and chest CT instead. 


That afternoon I received a phone call from Dr. David Campbell, a cardiothoracic surgeon.  He said, "Hey Toni, care if I crack your chest open Monday around 2?"  I mean seriously!!  What a phone call??  I told him that would work for me and he let me know that he was really looking forward to meeting me.  He had been talking with Dr. Carroll, Dr. Fenster, and even Dr. Olson and was very intrigued by my case.  He said Cathy, my case manager, would call later with instructions and details about the surgery.


As expected, my phone rang again and it was the very kind voice of a lady named Cathy Christopher.  She explained in detail what to expect from my open heart surgery.  She told me what I had to do to prepare including shower with special soap prior to arriving to the hospital.  It was a lot to take in.  This was the play by play...

• Pre-op ~ they would wheel me to the OR & put me to sleep
• surgery should last 3 hours
• move to ICU
• wake with big IV in my neck
• remove the neck IV & ventilator when I wake up
• sit up Tuesday morning & move to regular floor ~ walking
• released from hospital by Wednesday or Thursday

Cathy stressed that the hardest part would be psychological.  She was concerned about the drastic change in my medical diagnoses in such a short period of time.  Two days was not a lot of time to accept and deal with having to have urgent open heart surgery ~ not to mention it was happening 2000 miles from the comforts of home.  She gave me her cell number and told me to call anytime over the weekend with questions.  Dr. Olson also called to check in on me.  She wanted to make sure everything was settled with concerns about the aspirin and the pneumonia.  She also wanted to know the surgery time so she could be thinking about me.  :)


I guess I took to heart what Cathy said and it scared me.  I realized I wouldn't get to finish the school year with my students.  I wouldn't get to go back to work at all.  Someone else would have to do the job I am supposed to do.  I probably wouldn't get to plant a garden this year.  I wouldn't be able to mow my yard for a while.  Dad was going to miss another week of work because of me.  Mom and Dad were both going to be in Denver longer which they were
not enjoying & it was so expensive for them.  These thoughts were flooding in so fast that I was losing control.  I couldn't handle that right now.  There was nothing I could do about any of it.  I just couldn't think about it anymore.  I had to focus on the good.  I had to focus on the possibility that in six months I could be able to run at the park with Jackson.  I had to focus on the possibility that this was the big life changing answer I had been waiting for all these years.  I had to focus on the fact that I know this is part of God's good plan for me and no matter how scared I am He has is all under control.

Perfect timing! Melodie sent some pics of Jackson. :)

It was just what I needed!