Today was kind of a tough day because I didn't feel well. I seemed to worsen as the day went on with aches and chills. By mid afternoon I had a full blown 102 degree fever. Nice timing ~ just two more days until winter break and I wasn't going to make it. My body has such a way of making me feel like a complete failure over and over again. I just want to go to work and do my job....it sounds so simple, but I'm having such a hard time with it this year. :(
I was fighting the fever with Tylenol and rest when the phone rang. It was my scheduler Jennifer from National Jewish. She surprised me by saying Dr. Olson wants me back in Denver in January. I was feeling a bit out of it so I asked her to clarify ~ I was hearing her correctly. Dr. Olson has been concerned about my labs & the direction of my care and wants me back at National Jewish for a follow up with all seven of my specialists. The scheduling of that many doctors was a challenge for Jennifer, so the trip isn't actually going to happen until the week of February 20th.
I just hung up the phone moments ago and I feel frozen....numb....paralyzed even. I'm not ready to deal with the decisions that accompany a medical trip again so soon. I think I'm going to deal with it by not dealing with it for now. I'm just going to keep this phone call to myself for a while. I don't want to lie to anyone, but I just can't deal with travel drama right now...
