We woke to a beautiful Denver day. I felt anxious and calm all at the same time. Waiting was impossible! I was supposed to be at the hospital at noon and the surgery was scheduled to begin at 2:00 p.m. Our phones were all ringing with prayers and well wishes from friends and family. Dr. Fenster even called me to let me know Dr. Campbell was a stellar surgeon and I couldn't be in better hands. He said he was thinking of me and would be checking in with Dr. Campbell after the surgery to hear the good news.
The time finally came to head to the hospital. We checked in and I signed all the paperwork. They called me back alone first. I changed into a gown and got into the bed. They brought my parents back. The nurse started working on my IV and was finally successful in my left hand. The anethesiologist talked with us for a while, followed by a few medical students and fellows who drew a big blue X on my chest. Finally Dr. Campbell came in at 1:45 to say hi and see if we had any last minute questions. I hugged Mom and Dad as they rolled me down the hall. In the OR I remember several people rushing around me and some were introducing themselves. They were adjusting the table and everything went black...
My next memory is waking up and seeing Mom and Dad in the doorway of the room. They looked worried. I could tell by the way people were rushing around the room that things weren't all rosy. I wanted Mom and Dad to talk to me but I wasn't ready to know about the surgery. Mom started to tell me about it and I shook my head and closed my eyes. I know now that must have been very frustrating to her, but I just wasn't ready to hear what had happened. I guess they made my parents leave after I was stable because I didn't see them again until morning. The next thing I remember is someone shouting, "Toni, Toni you have to breathe! Breathe Toni!" They had been trying to take me off the ventilator for several hours, but I wasn't breathing on my own. I guess they thought a firm pep talk would help! :) I remember trying, but had no power over my lungs at the time. I just couldn't breathe on my own yet. They were finally able to take me off sometime later Tuesday morning.
That's when Mom and Dad were back and I was a bit more lucid. The nurse came in and said I needed another transfusion. That terrified me! I looked at him, then to Mom and Dad in confusion. Dad said there were some complications during my surgery. Rather than lasting three hours it took almost seven hours. It just turned out to be a very complicated surgery. One major problem was that I lost a lot of blood and continued to lose it even after surgery. I had to have several transfusions totaling eight pints in the end. That news hit me pretty hard for some reason.
I quickly realized that I wasn't following the plan outlined by Cathy Christopher for the surgery timeline. I did get to sit up on Tuesday which seemed pretty amazing. Looking back, I think my body was in a survival mode physically and mentally. I was very focused on what I needed to focus on for that moment to get by.
