I want to start with the positive - I am so thankful that I took the leap of faith and moved to Denver when I did. I know that I'm much better, (& maybe even alive) because of treatment I've been getting here. There are so many ways that I can tell that I'm doing better. I absolutely believe with all my heart that my body is getting closer to "well" each day.
I've noticed this school year that things really are different. I haven't had as many infections or viruses and the ones I have had have been more responsive to treatment. That's incredible. The other difference isn't so great. I've been experiencing more intense and consistent pain in my bones and joints and I've felt completely exhausted more often. I always try to box things up in my mind, you know, justify things that are going on so they don't seem like such a big deal. In this case, I've assumed these symptoms are connected to my Churg Strauss Syndrome and we just haven't found the right "potion" to attack it yet. That helps me hold on to the belief that this is temporary. For now though, it's hard to put into words how much my body hurts. It's bringing me to tears A LOT more often and getting MUCH harder to ignore. I guess I've experienced a level of constant pain for almost a year now. I learned to tolerate it though. It was a dull and constant ache that seemed to come from deep in my bones. It was mostly in my arms and hands. I just dealt with it. What else was I to do?
This winter has been much worse. The dull pain is more intense in the bones of my arms and now sometimes even my legs. At times it changes from a constant pain to a nearly unbearable, radiating type pain. My joints are hurting more often now too. It's getting harder and harder to focus and push through the pain when it really flares. I keep praying that it will get better soon. I am praying that soon, this too will be a symptom of the past.
